stress

I'm pretty stressed out. I don't feel ready. My friend said, "It's not like you can cram." And that's totally what I'm doing. But I know that if I do too much I can get hurt.

My kids have been sick. I woke up at 3AM with a twinge of a migraine, which, if I get a migraine, I can be out of commission for days. I took a Zomig and a couple of advil and slapped a icyhot patch on my neck. I got a massage the other day and my QL was super flared up, which I sort of knew. It could be the vest, or it could have been the kettle bell workout from last week because I know I was hiking my hips on that, it just seems like a delayed response.

I know I'm stessed because I was taking my son and a friend to the museum a couple days ago and while stopped at a light, I was looking down, and just because I saw the cars in the left turn lane start to go out of the corner of my eye, I (instinctively I guess) took my foot of the brake and bumped the car in front of me. I was so embarrassed. The boys were surprised but didn't understand what had happened. "Did we get crashed, Mommy?" No, I'm an idiot. I apologized profusely, and gave the couple my insurance information. They were very nice, and there was no damage, not even a mark, on their car - a Lexus, no less - but still. I was babbling and shaking like a crazing person, I'm sure. The only other time I ever did something like this was when I was pregnant with Leo, seven years ago, and I was sleep deprived to the point of truly beginning to be paranoid delusional. It was probably not too long after that event, (I hope! My god, I don't remember the time line, but I do remember that it was awful and I hope it didn't go on too long.) that I ended up crying in the gym parking lot unable to get out of the car such that I had to call Gary to accompany me to my midwife's office. Luckily all she had to do was prescribe me a week's worth of Ambien, and all was well after that. Amazing what a little sleep can do.