Back to reality... the Soul to Soul song started running through my head as I drove home today. That was well after crying for an hour over a latte with Sandy. Sandy arrived at the training grounds just in time to pass me as I was driving out. I rolled down my window and said, "I'm done. I'm leaving." She thoughtfully suggested going to get some coffee.
What happened was that they split us up into two groups. One group went to do the stair climb and we went to do the dummy drag. So my worst event was my first event. I watched as everyone else easily picked it up and dragged it the distance in 28 seconds or so. But when I got to it, I had a hard time getting a hold on it. I eventually picked it up and started moving, but had lost valuable time. Then the dummy was sliding out of my arms and with only about 10 feet left I dropped it and had to start pulling it by the wrists, but by then I think I was probably over time. I had completed the drag in about 50 seconds, but the limit was 40, so I was done. Test over.
No stair climb; no ladder lift; no nothing.
The thing is that I know I can DO all these things. Maybe I can't do them all in the allotted time, and time is important, but I can drag a 160 dummy 100 feet. (And I'm pretty sure, giving another opportunity, I could shave some time off. The one other woman in my group dragged it by the wrists, which is probably what I should have done. But I could second guess myself all day.) It's just a bummer that I didn't get a chance to do anything else, because that was first!
Plus, now I don't really know what to do with myself. Sandy asked if I was going to go to the gym. I just might! I was prepared for a workout today and didn't get one. But bigger than that, I need a new goal. I don't really want to go back to my old life and whatever reality that was. As Sandy pointed out, she's never seen me so focused and dedicated to anything before. She's right. So what is it that I can do next to continue on this path, but isn't this?
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